2009!

not the ending he was hoping for

My very good and very gorgeous friend, Julia, was in New York last week where she stayed at a friend's apartment on the UWS. This friend set her up with a tall & very cute guy, let's call him Avi, who very conventiently lives in the same building.

Julia and Avi had a pleasant but somewhat boring dinner date at a very expensive steakhouse not very far from the building.

Over dinner, Julia mentioned that she was expecting a very important e-mail from a college professor, but that her friend, having newly moved into the said apartment, did not have internet access.

Avi very kindly accepted Julia's request to use his laptop, and internet access, at his apartment.

After dinner, the two headed back to Avi's apartment, which, as mentioned, is located in the very building where Julia was staying.

While Julia was reading her very important e-mail, Avi let her know that he would be 'freshening up' in the meantime.

Julia noticed that after 'freshening up', Avi smelled very much like Hugo Boss and Crest toothpaste. Julia also noticed that Avi was not wearing the Burberry Blue dress shirt that she had admired over dinner.

Julia gave Avi a smile, not a very sincere one at that, as the Hugo was a little too strong for Julia's liking. She glanced back at the computer screen, and typed a very short e-mail reply to her professor.

All done with her e-mail, Julia gave Avi another smile, thanked him very much for dinner and the internet access, and planted a soft kiss...

on his cheek.

And then she walked to his door and said a very happy goodbye!

what if you weren't his/her first?

This question is really directed to those of you who haven't had any premarital experiences. I'm presuming that the answer would be very different if you had. (is presuming the same as assuming? I'm trying not to make a donkey of myself...)

But what if you found out that the guy or girl you were seeing had a not so tznius past?

I remember there was a season of Big Brother on TV (my friends are groaning now) where a girl found out some interesting facts about the guy she had been sleeping with all season long - turned out the guy was a gay porn movie star!

Ok, that's probably the WORST thing you could ever find out. And seeing as how peyos and X-rate movies don't really mix (maybe in YOUR fantasy babe, surely not in mine), you'll probably never have to worry about that kind of thing happening in your lifetime.

So what if you found out that the FFB girl you're considering for marriage had a couple of wild nights in sem? Or that the BT suggested to you worked as a Chippendale? (to pay for college of course) Or that every girl on the UWS has seen your recently flipped-out boyfriend's bedroom, but you?

Would you change your mind before making the trip down the aisle with this 'person with a past'? Would it make a difference if he/she (let's hope it's either he or she, and not he-she) was only suggested to you, and not yet someone you developed feelings for?

Would you rather enter a marital union with someone with the same level of experience, well, lack of experience, as you? Or do you think that his or her experience would make your first time together a little less..... awkward?

does mm = cl?

In my last post I forgot to give a nice big shout out to Sir Jack Benimble for working so hard each week in order to ensure an awesome Haveil Havalim! Yasher Koach Jack! XO XO!

And I must say - thank you all for your supportive comments! I'm glad you enjoyed the MM HH, and hope you keep on reading ;)

I was pretty flattered when Seraphic Secret likened my style to that of Hollywood legend Carole Lombard . She was said to have been really funny, blunt, and gorgeous. Pretty big shoes to fill, but I'll take any compliment I can get ;)

MM hearts Haveil Havalim #198

How on earth do I do HH justice if I have to follow Jewlicious' awesome commentary from last week? Luckily, I only have to be on time! (Just kiddding Jewlicious - I promise never to babysit your offspring - ever)

So where do I start?

How about with something female-related? (This is MM after all)
Shorty and her Adventure bring up the whole Kol Isha issue in a post aptly titled "Kol Isha - are you kidding me?". I have to say, she brings up some very good arguments. Why shouldn't a woman be able to be seen and heard if she so chooses? Although, you can't deny that someone like Leona Lewis doesn't make you believe in love. But then, same is true about Robin Thicke (despite the name, he is a guy).

Want to pee in your pants?
You might after reading Schvach's the Top 10 Reasons Why Israeli Men Piss in Public Unfortunately I've seen this with my very own MM eyes - so it was kinda nice to know the reasons behind it!
Schvach also has a post about Ladino singer Sarah Aroeste which is worth a read. Didn't know people still spoke Ladino!

Muse talks about embarassing her children with her fannypack. I think I'm on her kids' side with this one!

Yechezkel talks about the Madoff scandal (well, who isn't) in The Largest Ponzi Scheme in History. He also has a great article entitled The Richest Man in the Cemetery about those who don't give charity.

Chanukah Chanukah Chanukah

Can You Feel It, Baby? IT'S CHANUKKAH! is a pretty funny video of comedian Benji Lovitt talking to people on the streets of Jersualem over at What War Zone???.

I know that by the time you read this, Chanukah will probably already be over!
But to get you in the mood for next year, Rickismom at Beneath the Wings has an inspiring slideshow presentation on Chanukah -Lights of Freedom and Hope.

If you missed out on seeing Matisyahu in concert this Chanukah, check out Mottel's Festival of Light: A Photo Essay posted at Letters of Thought.

See what a McD's Chanukah Happy Meal would look like, brought to you by Soccer Dad.

Elisson espouses the virtues of real Chanukah music, such as Ma-oz Tzur in CHANUKAH ROCK. He may think the Dreidel song doesn't deserve respect - but has he heard the Baron Cohen version?

The Velveteen Rabbi gives a great academic-style dvar torah on Mai Chanukah? - What is Chanukah?.

Dan at Torat HaRav Aviner has a great article about how It is Lucky that Yehudah the Maccabee Did Not Ask... politicians or military advisors or rabbis, etc for help. In those days, if you believed in something, you stood up for it. No questions asked. No need for wasting time - which is the way politics seems to be handled today. He also has a really interesting article on Halachot of the Army for Chanukah in case any of you are planning on making aliyah! (or maybe you're already there? then reading this should come in handy)

And if you want to get really deep, read Chanukah, Plato, and a Bus-ride posted at Tzipiyah.com. The article talks about how seemingly, Chanukah "is most out of place in today’s liberalist, post-modern western society" (according to Rabbi Kahane, z"l). Interesting theory. Definitely worth a read.

Another deep read is at Freedom's Cost, where Chaim writes about The Ongoing Fight Against the Hellenists. When will it be over?

Want more?

At Tikkun Olam, Lady Light wishes they had latkes in Israel. Are you sure there are no latkes in Israel? Maybe she should read Cooking with Ricky, or the Inexact Recipe posted at Beneath the Wings and make her own!

Over at Manely Montana you can get a recipe for sweet potato latkes and read a pretty good list of 'light humor' - funny life laws of Jewish Theology. You know you're in for a treat when the list starts off with "Never take a front-row seat at a bris." Get it all at Lightening up Channukah .

We all probably know about the version that mentions a partridge in a pear tree, but The Real Shliach changes it up with his version of the Twelve nights of Chanuka.

X-mas
(I know, THIS gets its own category on a Jewish blog carnival?? But I didn't want to group these with the Chanukah posts, so here goes!)

JackB at Random Thoughts- Do They Have Meaning? makes the following anti-goy remark: I Hate Christmas.

Heshy at Frum Satire presents his thoughts on Christmas in a post titled "Christmas Thoughts". Like always, Heshy delivers.

Israel Israel Israel

Batya of Shiloh Musings sent me a few good posts worth mentioning. She had some Guests From The BBC and talks about giving them so good ol' Israeli hospitality - and is even interviewed where she gets to be Blunt on the BBC.

Her husband, Yisrael Medad, describes the same experience at My Right Word. He also writes about A Verbally Violent Churchman, Tsk-tsk and how the WashPost Really Dumb.

In Batya's post Polish Jewry at The Begin Center, she gets less personal, talking about a photo exhibition on Krakow at the Menachem Begin Heritage Center.

In Mission: Attitude Adjustment, posted at Ki Yachol Nuchal!, Ruti writes about how Israelis, and really all of us, have a sort of "worry" room in our brains where we put all of our concerns and everything we don't want to deal with. I think that one of Hashem's greatest gifts to us is our ability to forget. Don't believe me? See my Bubbie, a holocaust survivor, for proof.

Over at The Israel Situation read about how an Israeli feels about Sending our Children to War. And at A Soldier's Mother, a woman whose child is currently in the army, discusses the significance of Where You Light a Candle, as she hopes that her son has been able to light in the army.
Thank goodness I never put my parents through that kind of situation. But who knows if it will happen to me?

Want all the latest Religion & State news from Israel? Well then here is Religion and State in Israel - December 22, 2008 Section 1 and Section 2. It's a pretty interesting mix of articles by a variety of writers on diverse topics. (i just used three synonyms for 'different')

Ben-Yehudah at Esser Agaroth writes about the Jewish Reality of Israeli politics today. I would probably understand his point more if I actually knew anything about or cared about the subject.

The Rebbetzin's Husband presents A Modest Proposal for an EcoRabbinate and Is "Wish me luck, I'll need it" a winning Israeli political slogan?. Like I said, I wish I cared about Israeli politics. But it seems so corrupt, I'd rather not get my hands dirty trying to wrap my mind around it all.

Daled Amos has a few interesting news editorial-style articles: More "Youth Riots"--This time in Sweden, Shai Agassi And Electric Cars--Maybe Not A Pipedream and It's Hopeless.

Over at Seraphic Secret, Iranian President Imadinnerjacket's Christmas Message is discussed. Why he gave a Christmas message, I'm not so sure. Seraphic sounds pretty angry in this post. But maybe, he has a point!

A cause you should care about

Also at Torat HaRav Aviner read about the need to Free Pollard Now. For some of us, it might seem like too passé to talk about again. But when a Jewish guy has to sit in jail for over 23 years, maybe we should take notice.


Alright - that's all folks. Hope you enjoyed the MM edition of HH!

Submit your blog article to the next edition of Haveil Havalim using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

modesty in decline?

I read this article over at VosIzNeias.

The headline on the article is "Decline In Modstesy Prompts Lubavitcher Community To Call For More 'Tznius'".

I can't say I disagree.

But then, who am I to talk? (especially as I sit on the beach, showing more than knees and elbows)

bh his bride isn't me

I was looking at the Weddings section over at OnlySimchas today. I'm actually pretty surprised how long the site has lasted! I usually get my engagement updates on Facebook these days. Anyhow, while I was stalking people I've never met, I recognized the name of a groom on the site.

He was the first guy I was ever set up with. I remember him being a really nice guy, but I wasn't too sure he was for me. We were set up at a time when I had recently become more religious (I always was frum, but I had just gotten back from Seminary). I remember being a lot less sure of who I was, who I wanted to be, where I stood on various subjects, including where I fit religiously. Ultimately, it came down to the fact that he really wanted to make Aliyah, and I just wasn't too sure that was going to be in my cards.

BH, it looks like he found someone who he really fits with. I know, I'm making that judgment off of a picture, but she looks like the type of girl someone like him should be with. Seeing their pictures makes me really happy for the two of them. It also makes me happy that I'm not in his wedding pictures.

worth a listen - Mama Doni

I was cruisin in my mom's sheitelmobile (aka minivan - altho she doesn't wear a sheitel) the other day, listening to XM Radio Hannukkah when they played this fab song by an artist named Mama Doni. Thought it was pretty funny and had a good beat. Definitely worth a listen!

Click here for more Mama Doni - including a Chanukah song!

NOTE: You need Internet Explorer to listen to this. If anyone knows how I can make it play on Firefox, let me know!

meme ? Me Me?

I've never heard of a meme before, and I still don't quite grasp the concept, but then the Babysitter tagged me in this post she did .

She did a book meme, which I would do, except I'd have to write out a whole paragraph from page 56 of the nearest book. Unfortunately, there is only one nearest book with me here on vacation, and I'm only on page 17 - and not about to ruin it for myself!

Anyhow, I figured that a lot more readers would prefer this next meme!

Seven Facts About Me

Here are the rules:
1. Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people (if possible) at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blogs.

1) I can't do my nails myself. I still haven't figured out how to cut my own nails. Pretty pathetic, huh? I've never mastered using a pair of scissors with my left hand, and for some reason, clippers freak me out. I also don't know how to put nail polish on without making a huge mess. When my nails get too long (if they haven't already chipped on their own) I either bite them (i know, it's a gross habit), file them, or let an asian figure it out! (try Essie in Waltz)

2) I wish I was British. I used to be obsessed with all things British - especially the history and the royal family. I even wrote a post about how much I looooove the accent. If only FrumPunk would propose.... sighhhh....

3) I love Big Brother. Ok, most reality television. But especially Big Brother. And especially the British version. (Celebrity BB UK comes out January 2nd!) Most of my friends know this about me. I don't know why - maybe it's the yenta in me, but I really love watching other people live. Right now I'm watching Top Chef, which is slightly more intellectual, if only because there is actual talent involved.

4) I don't eat veal. Or fish if I can see its head. Or chicken if it's whole. I would probably go vegan if my stomach would let me.

5) I used to think I was a princess. Like an actual princess. All the movies I watched had princesses in them, so naturally I must have been one too. Maybe that explains my British obsession... (we don't have royalty in America) Oh, and most importantly -my father called me Princess. And fathers never lie.

6) Movies make me cry. And not just sad movies. I even cried during Scream - when the killer dies. (because he was played by that hottie Skeet Ulrich) And during the last Star Wars movie.

7) I wish I was tanned.

Tagged: FrumPunk, FrumSkeptic, Jessica, MikeInMidwood, FrumSatire, Jacob Da Jew, and Nameless Faceless
and my tagger: The Babysitter

i need my car

even though i'm on a beautiful island, with a gorgeous view of the ocean, a warm breeze against my skin...

I can't help but miss my car :(

I know I probably sound like a spoiled brat.

But my car = my freedom.

I spend more time with my family on vacation than I do in 'real life'.

I love my family. A lot.

But 24 hours a day, over three, four, five day stretches, isn't exactly my idea of being relaxed.

You know what I mean, don't you?

are charedi girls raped? - Part Two

Back in November I wrote Part One where I questioned how Chassidish couples manage to 'do the deed' on their wedding night after years of being told to stay away from the opposite sex.

Then I recently came upon a blog called Hasidic Feminist - which from what I understand is written by a woman who is formerly Chassidish, was once married, and is finally lending her voice to the Chassidish female experience.

I feel sad that for many, being Jewish = following the teachings of a particular group of Jews.

Neverthless, I highly recommend reading her site. She doesn't have that many posts up yet. But it really gives you a feel, and at some points shocks you, about the goings-on of that world for those who don't know too much (myslef included).

She recently wrote about her mikvah experience, and I have to say, the idea of having a mikvah lady examine my naked body once a month doesn't sound like the most holy endeavor to me either...

One post that I found particularly disturbing is the one on Vaginimus - a medical condition affecting many Chassidish women today. Click here to read more.

I hope she keeps writing! I know I will keep reading!

hotel chanukah

Happppy Chanukah everyone!

For some reason it just didn't feel like a real Chanukah last night.

Being on vacation during the 'Chag' somehow doesn't really feel right...

First of all - there's no snow! And I know the whole 'white' thing only applies to that other holiday, and I doubt it snowed on the Maccabees - but for some reason I've always associated Chanukah with the cold time of year! This is definitely not my first Chanukah in the sun, but maybe this is just the first time I've thought about it.

Also - my bubbie didn't come on our trip and my mom is on strike, so instead of latkes we had another fried potato dish - Ruffles Original Potato Chips. Besides the fact that I hate Original - although they were definitely oily (so in a way, fulfilling the mitzvah of Chanukah), they just didn't feel right.

We also forgot to bring draidels! Or chocolate gelt! (I shouldn't complain about that - my dad gave us the real kind instead)

Luckily, our holiday wasn't that bad - we listened to the lighting of the National Menorah over at the White House on XM radio (on Sirius 3 and XM 38). And I put that Dreidel song by Borat's bro on my IPod.

And besides, there are still 7 days left to make (well.... buy) latkes!

happy holidays!

MM is taking a short vacay - she needs a tan!

So see you all in a couple of days! 

If you don't hear from me soon, have a Happy Chanukah!

Love,

MM

worth a watch - kath heigl's new movie!

How can you not want to watch a movie that stars Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler! (he's that hunk from 300 and PS I Love You)
Enjoy!

More Chelsea

I know this might offend some of you, but I think Chelsea Handler is hysterical! This is one of her best interviews!

where ya from?

I just got into this Google Analytics thing which tells you all the details about my visitors on here.

So apparently in the past month, I received 1,323 visits from 23 countries!

Pretty crazy!

I don't think I even know of 23 countries where they speak English!

I'll bet this list of countries will surprise you (unless you're from one of these places! -they're in order of number of visitors):

United States, Canada, Israel, United Kingdom, Germany, Belgium, Norway, Australia, India, Denmark, France, New Zealand, Switzerland, Thailand, Slovakia, Macedonia, Indonesia, Sweden, South Africa, Cayman Islands, Ireland, Switzerland and Italy

footsteps

I read this post by Mordy K. over at A Hasid and A Heretic.

He talks about his involvement with Footsteps, an organization that gives "educational, vocational and social support to those seeking to enter or explore the world beyond the insular ultra-religious communities in which they were raised". Basically to frum 'rebels'.

Mordy K. (maybe it's the same guy I know?) writes about how a lot of people in the Orthodox community think negatively about the organization.

My thoughts?

I think it's great that there is some kind of network out there for people who come from homes where they do not equip their children with the necessary tools to live in the 'outside world'.

I think it shows poorly on the Orthodox community for its failure to properly integrate these people within the community, and also within society in general.

There are many yeshivahs that do not even give their students a high school diploma. How is a 'graduate' of one of these schools supposed to find a decent job to earn an honest living? And even if these schools do provide a diploma - do they also provide their students have the general math and language skills to sustain a serious employment?

If employment is not their goal, and I'm assuming that in these cases that the objective is to turn out future Rabbis or Shluchim or Lakewood or Monsey or wherever Kollel Learners, then why are so many students failed? Why are students not enlightened and not enthusiastic about being part of a 'holy' mission?

Just as not every student excels at math - how can we expect every student to excel in Torah study? Not everyone is cut out to be the next Belzer Rebbe. So why sideline those who don't make the cut?

I'm not promoting rebellious behavior in any way. I am, and have always been, very much a 'good girl' - whatever that means! But I think it's interesting how a lot of these frum 'rebels' go really extreme. It becomes not just about NOT doing what their parents and school have told them to do. But about taking it all a step further - eating treif meat, going to clubs on friday night, doing drugs, sleeping around at an early age... In my opinion it shows a real desire to get as far away from 'home' as possible.

Many 'rebels' eventually realize the 'error' of their ways, but lack the necessary skills to effectively integrate in any 'world'. Their frum community does not want them back - but without an education or social network, how can they expect to live normal lives?

That's where Footsteps comes in - and although I do not know too much more about the organization other than what I've gathered based on 'hearsay' and their website, it seems like they are (unfortunately) a much-needed group in today's world.

(sorry for length - I'm practicing for my Thesis)

are jewish boys cheap?

I know there's a recession going on...

But how expensive is a phone card?

This boy I was set up with asked me if I had AIM...

I call him a boy because most men I know don't have AIM

Or bad long-distance phone plans

Or ask a girl to download skype

To save a buck

Even during a recession!

i want latkes

Ever notice that most latke recipes call for the same ingredients, but yet no two latkes are ever alike?

Or the fact that the BEST latkes can only be made by your mother and Bubbie?

In my family, the boys are in charge of getting all the potatoes peeled and processed, while the girls add the special ingredients and fry them up.

And I must say, my Bubbie's latkes are THE best.

They look a lot like the ones in this picture, which is why I chose it over other more professional-looking pics.

A lot of the 'potato pancakes' out there look pretty goyish. You know, the Martha Stewart kind that's shredded instead of pulverized, or tastes like dough, and served with caviar or made with zuchini. Not saying the other latke-wannabes aren't yummy.

But give me a plate of my Bubbie's latkes, served piping hot with some smetana or some applesauce, and I'm ready for Chanukah!

reruns

now that I'm finally finished with exams, the networks decide that's it's time for reruns!

not only do they air all the juicy season finales when I'm supposed to be seriously studying, but now when I actually have time to watch, they pull back!

are they trying NOT to get viewers? Or maybe they're just out to get me.....

wear this

Someone saw my post about exciting tznius-wear and asked me to mention some of his new products. He wanted a 'subtle' plug, but since when do I do subtle? And besides, unlike some of the other 'clothing' items on this page, I wouldn't mind being caught in this.

It's actually quite useful for a frum girl who's found the perfect gown for her best friend's wedding and needs to make it tznius without having to pay $250 for a dressmaker to ruin it. And unlike other tight tees, this one falls right under the bust line (I feel so grown up saying 'bust') - so no lines!

To find out where to get this shirt (which comes in a variety of colors and sizes) contact Mark at mark@migapparel.com

mm playlist is back! (for now)

the MM playlist is back!

Let me know if you like the feature?

Or maybe you hate it?

Do you like/love/hate my song selection?

Does the playlist slow down your loading time?

Are you on Dial-Up?

segulah segulah

do you believe in segulahs?

Personally, when it comes to segulahs, I take the 'well, it sure can't hurt' approach. Because really, you never know!

But who comes up with this stuff?

I've heard of some interesting ones for dating. Like pouring water for your friends. Then there's the one where you have to say Shir Hashirim or Perek Shira for forty days straight. (I can barely make it to the gym for three days straight, so this one's never really worked out for me).

And there are a ton of dating segulahs that are wedding-related. Like holding onto a bride's jewelry while she's at the chupah. Drinking from the wine cup that the couple drinks out of under the chupah or at benching. Or getting a bracha from the bride directly (much less germy!). Or getting a piece of the plate that the mothers break. (which by the way, I just learned that you are supposed to LOSE! so much for getting excited about getting the biggest piece! or for that collection of broken china that now takes up space in my room)

Then there's the classic - visiting the grave of Rav Yonatan ben Uziel in Amuka. I've been there a few times (even got stung by a bee there? maybe that's a segulah!) and I've heard some pretty amazing stories about girls getting married a year later. I never really davened for myself when I went (except for maybe the last time) - I'll let you know if it works!

friends with babies

here's to hoping that no one i know reads this....

A few of my friends have babies.

I'm not particularily close anymore with any of these people - let's face it - once a friend gets married, it's usually GOODBYE! See you when I've got a husband too! (So that we can double date, because let's face it - before then, it's third wheel syndrome. And the third wheel is either me or your husband - awkward either way)

And when they get babies? Fuggedaboutit.

Maybe they would like to spend some time with their non-married friends - you know, to 'get away' from it all...
But listen girl, one word about Diapers, how you have to leave early to pay the sitter, or anything to do with your OBGYN, and I'm out!

Ok, I understand your situation. I do. I know it's most likely in my future as well. But right now, your 12-hour labor is the last thing I need details about.

I love kids. They usually love me too. I've always been a great camp counselor, babysitter, youth advisor.

But babies? I'll admit a lot of babies are cute. But unless they say something funny, they don't really do much to keep my ADD under wraps.

I've changed a few diapers in my life, but I really don't know too much about babies. When you tell me he's 4 months, 8 months, 16 months - I can't help but wonder why you don't just count in years like normal people.

I don't know the difference between a 4 month old and 16 month old either. It can be a problem. A few years back I was asked to babysit someone's grandchild during a wedding. They asked if I was ok with babies. Until that point the youngest I've ever looked after on my own was a 2 year old (other than my siblings!). They told me the baby was 5 months old (i think - like i said, I don't know what that means). I said "sure, I'd be happy too!". I was not.

The baby cried the ENTIRE time. I took her out to the hallway to try and calm her down. I picked her up and tried to rock her in my arms (i do know that shaking a baby is a criminal offense) but she wouldn't stop hollering. The groom and the entire male posse decided to use that moment to walk down to do the Bedekin-ing. I think the baby was louder than the 150 or so men singing. Needless to stay - I've refused babysitting offers ever since!

in case you were wondering about the hole in the sheet...

Chanukah vs. Christmas - Enjoy!

let's abolish cash

Is it such a radical idea?

I mean, who carries cash and change around these days anyway?

I was at the library, trying to pay my late charges (I'm keeping the exact amount owed to myself - it's pretty embarassing!). But the mean librarian, with her ugly glasses, insisted that only cash was accepted. No credit cards, no debit cards. Only anything with a face on it.

But I just find it really inconvenient to be carrying around an extra pound of change and loose bills, especially when I've already got the weight of three encyclopedia-sized reference books in my schoolbag.

And besides - I saw an episode of 60 minutes once where they said that 5 dollar bills are full of cocaine - and germs!

something a skank would never wear

the fabulous piece on the left is called a Skant - "looks like a skirt, functions as a pant" from Active Modesta, a division of Aqua Modesta. Available in navy and silver-grey! only $65!
www.aquamodesta.net

And if you want to be really fashionable, take a look at this swimsuit (on right) now available in a really fashion forward print (matching head covering not included).

jingle bells in my head

I went shopping today and it seems like xmas has taken over the universe! Or at least the mall.

You know what I'm talking about, right? At least those of you who have ever stepped foot inside of an American mall during the month of December.

All the stores seem to be using those pumpkin pie glade plug-ins, and everything is red, green and gold. (colors that would otherwise be considered tacky)

All the display windows have fake snow and some kind of holiday theme. Every mall has one of those huge fake castles where you can tell santa to buy you stuff. I remember some of my not-so-frum friends used to sit on santa's lap just for the free candy cane. Which in a way, was very Jewish of them.

And let's not forget the holiday jingles! How sad is it that I can probably sing more x-mas carols than Chanukah tunes. They're just so catchy! And they make you think of snowflakes and snowmen and cozy fireplaces and mugs of hot cocoa.

And don't you secretly love xmas lights? Not the ones in tacky colors (see above), but the pretty white lights against pine or palm trees (depending on where you live). There are a few neighborhoods in my town where they light up the whole street, with strings of lights hanging from lampposts over cars - it looks pretty magical. But I'm not supposed to say that out loud, right?

We use some of those lights in our Sukkah (we insist to my Dad that they were NOT bought in the xmas aisle) And apparently in Israel, Charedis use xmas decorations in their sukkahs too (old man with big white beard and nice big smile - he must be a Rebbe!). So maybe that makes it ok that I enjoy the holiday season!

And let's face it people - we need to work on our PR! Sure every store nowadays also has a Chanukah section, or at least the token Menorah as decor. But all the Chanukah trinkets on sale look so goyish! What real yid calls it 'Hanuka'? Or wants anything that says 'Hanuka' in their home? And does Jewish = blue & white and/or star of david and/or menorah design?

Borat's brother, Erran Baron Cohen, recently came out with some new takes on Chanukah classics. Here's one: (maybe it'll get the jingle bells out of my head!)

black hats are sexy

is it just me?

i often find that a guy with a black hat is super cute.... until he takes it off and BALD SPOT!

But if a guy my age is wearing a black hat, he's probably already married with 5 kids...

Why oh why don't these people wear wedding rings?

not that these types would go for me anyhow! - frumpunk has already ruined my rep ;)

jews vs. goyim

Miss S. had an interesting article entitled "Does Chosen = Superior?":
http://rishonah.blogspot.com/2008/11/does-chosen-superior.html

I have some young nephews who go to a pretty frum Yeshiva in Boro Park. Their education seems to divide the world between "yiddin" and "goyim". They'll often tell me jokes where "A goy" is similar to what was once a polak or a blond - someone who is dumb or evil or has any quality that is directly opposite of that of the 'Jewish hero' of their story.

My nephews rarely have any interaction with anyone that isn't Frum, let alone not Jewish. And I will admit that growing up, I rarely did either. The only non-Jews I knew well were babysitters or secular teachers (even then, our school preferred to hire Jews for those positions!). Even the technically not-Jewish summer camp I attended was almost 100% Jewish and kosher.

It was only when I went to college that I began to realize that there are other people out there in the world! I became friends with Asians and Black people who didn't have accents or work as house cleaners!

But I was never racist. I never considered myself, and still don't consider myself in any way better because I am Jewish. Proud? Yes, definitely. But better? No. Different - maybe.

So why do these schools insist on teaching children that goyim are less worthy? Is the 'Goy' their equivalent of a Disney Villian - an easily identifiable characterization of what is 'bad' for children to comprehend?

worth a watch - Chelsea Handler

Chelsea Handler appears on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno!

(Have you ever seen her talk show? She's sooo funny! Sarah Silverman-esque but less dry, more funny!)

do you eat at weddings?

Can you tell my plan to study is going well tonight?

FrumSatire just (seriously, like as in five minutes ago) posted about Food at Weddings.
http://www.frumsatire.net/2008/12/06/so-nu-how-was-the-food

So... do you eat at weddings?

My parents are just like Frum's. When they come home from a wedding, they judge the event based on qualities that I never normally even think about - the FOOD and how loud the music was. Not 'oh the Bride looked gorgeous' or 'the Brother of the groom have a great speech', but it's usually, 'Ugh - the food was disgusting. I thought those people were rich. I guess they have no taste!'

I will admit they do sometimes have positive comments. But I think my parents (and a lot of their friends) are often even harsher critics than Zagats!

Me? I rarely eat at weddings. Not because I'm not starved or because I'm a picky eater. But usually because by the time I get back to my table from the dancefloor, my plate's already been taken away!

And during the cocktails pre-sit down portion of an event, (some call this the smorgasboard - which I think is a kinda ugly term; others call this the hors d'oeuvres - much fancier), I HATE having to carry around a plate of food or having a mouth full of sushi and/or chicken on a stick (whatever do you do with that stick afterwards!). And I'm usually more excited about the pretty fruity drinks and worried about my dress fitting to eat anything!

No, I'm definitely not anorexic (although sometimes I wish I had their self-control, like now, when I should be studying). But to me, a great wedding is one where I have a ton of fun, dancing with friends around a bride I know and love.

worth a listen - new Shwayze Single!

I don't know what it is about Shwayze that makes me love their music so much.
Maybe because I like their laid-back style, mix of hip-hop and pop and acoustic guitar.
Maybe cuz Shwayze sounds like some made-up Yiddish-ism.
Their new song Rich Girls is sure to be a hit! (you know it's sure to be a secret anthem for Lakewood Bochurs) I couldn't find it on Playlist.com, so click here to listen:

You can also download their new Album here: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?vwmdyywjmzj

i need sushi

so I'm stuck at home this Saturday night - buried under piles of things to read for exams, and permanently glued to my laptop as I try to write yet another take-home exam.

but I'm seriously craving SUSHI!

If only I could leave the house for the fifteen minutes it takes to some good old California or New York rolls.

Sigh.......

I wonder if they deliver?

Hashem works in mysterious ways

I was at a charity event tonight for Migdal Ohr. This was my third time going to one of their events, where they raise at least One Million Dollars in one evening each year.

Migdal Ohr is the largest youth village in Israel, housing and educated over 6,500 orphaned, impverished and underprivileged children.

It was founded in 1972 by Rabbi Yitzchok Dov Grossman. Maybe you've heard of him? He was once known as the "Disco Rabbi" because he used to go to clubs in Israel and try to talk to drugged-out youth. He is an amazing person. Ask him how many children he has, and he will say 6,500. Every person who speaks to him is amazed by his warmth, caring, sincerity. He devotes his life to helping children who can't live at home.

And most importantly, he cares about each person, no matter how religious they are. His goal is not necessarily to make these children as frum as he is. His goal is to give these children a better life. To let them know that they are loved.

Unfortunately, Rabbi Grossman couldn't be there this evening.

Why? Because his wife is the aunt of Rivky Holtzberg, the Chabad Rebbetzin murdered in the Mumbai attacks. His family is currently in mourning.

To learn more about Migdal Ohr go to www.migdalohrusa.org

You can also learn more about Rabbi Grossman on wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbi_Grossman

I am a Jew

Vos Iz Neis had a really well-said article about Jewish Unity. Here's a snippet:

You are a Jew. You are not a Zionist. You are not an anti-Zionist. You are not Modern Orthodox. You are not Chasidish. You are just a Jew.

You don't belong to any denomination or demographic. You belong to Hashem. We all do.

That is the message from Mumbai. That is the call from India.

It seems we've heard it. For at least a week.

We've realized that to the terrorists, we're all the same. They didn't attack "Zionists" or "anti-Zionists" or "Modern Orthodox" or "Chasidish" or even "not-so-frum." All of those were represented at that little house in Mumbai. They attacked the Jews.

They taught us that we're all vulnerable. That none among us are immune.

And ultimately, they taught us that there's no reason to fight among ourselves. They taught us the painfully obvious—they taught us to have more, much more, Ahavas Yisroel.

http://www.vosizneias.com/23765/2008/12/04/new-york-mumbai-is-calling-will-a-true-gadol-please-heed-the-call/

what is going on with this world?

Have you heard what's going on in Hebron?

My friend Jude posted these comments on Facebook and I thought it worth sharing with you:

"I was there this summer. The Jewish families who live there are forced to remain in a small area of the city. The closest hospitals, stores or restaurants are in Kiryat Arbah, and they must travel in bullet-proof cars and carry Uzis to get there.

I don't think I could live under such horrible conditions. But these people really believe in what they are doing. I wouldn't really label them 'zionist extremists' - there is a Chabad house there and Chabad isn't necessarily a zionist movement. But regardless, there is no denying that these people have the right to live there if they so choose.

If a Jew can live in France, in Australia, even in Iran, why can't these people live in Hebron? (no matter who makes claim to the land)

The Jewish community in Hebron existed for thousands of years until it was brutally displaced in 1929--after Arab marauders murdered, raped and burned to death scores of Jews and dispossessed the community of properties that included hundreds of acres of real estate."

get off the internet and chew some gum

Random Bochur scores another sheitel-tip again.

He sent me this article from the NY Times : http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/25/business/media/25adco.html?_r=1&ref=technology

You may have seen this ad before on the Subway.

Any thoughts? Do we spend too much time online? (sounds like a silly question coming from me!)

I'll admit I spend a major chunk of my day on my laptop. Facebook, E-mails, MM, and not to mention school and work, are all things that require me to spend a lot of time online. It's almost not by choice anymore!

I have some friends who are AGAINST Facebook - they don't want to risk getting addicted. And I'll admit, I am pretty addicted. But it's such a great way to keep in touch with people I wouldn't otherwise see on a daily basis!

Thoughts?

why women are 'bossy'...

I'm a pretty laid-back, easy-going, go-with-the-flow type of girl. It's almost a problem when it comes to making Saturday night plans with me. I'm usually cool with going anywhere, doing anything --- as long as I've got an outfit for it!

But at home? My family says I can be a little bossy - ok really bossy. Especially around my brothers. And I'll admit, I probably do sound like a nag.

But is it my fault?

It's just that if I don't tell my brothers to do something, they simply won't get it done. Girls - you know what I'm talking about right?

My brothers will often leave their socks/clothes/boxers (eww) on my bathroom floor after they take a shower. If I never nagged them about it - we would probably have enough clothes on the floor to start our own Gap franchise.

If I don't tell them what to do - repeatedly (they never seem to quite get it the first time, and they seem to only respond once my voice hits mad woman pitch) - then I know not to expect results. I may as well do it myself. But I do enough around the house and sometimes it isn't enough and I need help.

Wow - I think I'm starting to sound like my mother.

Ok, I'll concede that there are just certain things I hate doing - washing dishes, taking out the garbage - I'd rather just delegate!

And every Shabbos, it's the same story. The guys mysteriously and quietly leave the table so that they can avoid having to clear. They think they're smart. I used to throw hissy fits over this. But I'm smarter now - I'm the one that mysteriously and quietly leaves the table!

are women ever wrong?

I needed some post ideas, so I asked my brother to tell me some of his gripes about women.

One thing that is apparently really annoying that women do is when they say "oh just kidding" when we realize that we are wrong about something. My brother says that we aren't "kidding", we're just wrong.

I must say, I am pretty guilty of using the "just kidding" line A LOT. Like after I say something that is potentially harmful ("oh, ure such a B*tch..... Just kidding!"), or that is somewhat controversial ("who cares about homeless people. ..... Just kidding!") or sometimes even when I'm being really sarcastic and the other person doesn't get it ("ya, you should definitely go out with that loser ...... Just kidding!").

And I also say "Just kidding" when something stupid comes out of my mouth. I don't know if I would say WRONG. I just didn't really think about what I said before I said it! (which reminds me, I reallly need to start filtering what I say) Somehow the "Just kidding" kind of makes whatever I said before a little less bad.

Does it make me wrong?

are you getting divorced?

My good friend (ok, we've never met, but who says friendship can't be virtual!), Random Bochur, sent me this link to a Divorce Calculator. Yup, that's right - a calculator that measures your odds of getting divorced. Only catch? You need to be married to take the test. But even if you're not, it's interesting to see what they come up with!

Here's the link: http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/12/02/assessing-your-divorce-risk/

Too bad they don't take into account religion....

worth a watch - THE most amazing show on television today

Even if you don't watch TV, you MUST see this new television show on the Fox network.

Based on the British reality show by the same name, THE SECRET MILLIONAIRE puts real multi-millionaires in low-income tough communities. After a week where they go undercover and pretend they are as poor as their new neighbours, they must spend $100,000 of their own money to help those they've met.

It's a reality show that will make you cry and smile and definitely worth a watch.

It premiered tonight on Fox:
http://www.fox.com/programming/shows/new/secret_millionaire.htm

Here is an episode that aired on the British series:

worth a watch - new in town

this movie could totally be about me (with better hair). enjoy!

hebrew love

Looks like my post on KNOB got some attention on the Israeli web!

http://sf.tapuz.co.il/shirshur-2032-123342576.htm

תראו מה מצאתי - Rincewind

פוסט על Coincidence מתוך בלוג חרדי (!!):
http://materialmaidel.blogspot.com/

I wish the quality on this video was a little bit better - but it's an awesome song by this Israeli duo, KNOB- individually known as Meital Patash and Niv Cohen.

They're getting famous - and this song and others make you want to get up and dance - Tel Aviv style!

For more KNOB (and better songs, although not all are Kol Isha-free) go to: http://www.myspace.com/knobteta

קבלו את המשפט האחרון!

- כותב ההודעה הנוכחית אליעד חזן

ענק!
מגניב לו והמשפט האחרון הכי הכי קורע P-:

ענק חחחחח - כותב ההודעה הנוכחית GuyHemed

Kol Isha-free

mm is no ho

So apparently, an attempt of mine to be funny didn't go over so well.

On FrumSatire's post about our convo (http://www.frumsatire.net/2008/11/26/can-you-be-frum-if-your-not-shomer-negiah/), I made the following comment in response to Hesh saying that he has been on tefillin dates but didn't actually do the deed:

"If you didn’t sleep with her, its not a real Tefillin date Hesh! I’ve slept with boys…..but only sleep happened. So no shomer rules broken, right?"

Apparently some people, cough cough FrumPunk, think that I, MM, am a woman of ill-repute.

How can I blame him, ummm them, when my tagline is that "I am not an aidel maidel".

Should I clarify? Should I say that I am currently indeed quite shomer.... (not counting handshakes and hugging uncles)

I am not Aidel. I don't hide my collarbones, I use the F-word when I drive, I like fruity cocktails.
But Ho I surely am not.

how did they meet?

My friend has a little dinner party the other night and decided we needed an 'ice-breaker' after the meal. So we all went around the room telling everyone how our parents met one another. We came up with some pretty interesting stories (but I think the guy who's parents met on JDate was lying....)

So.... How did your parents meet?

PRAYER FOR MUMBAI

Please click here for the prayer in Hebrew and English: http://www.bangitout.com/MumbaiPrayer.pdf

From: Jewish Community Relations Council of New York
In light of the tragic events unfolding in India, we as a Jewish community stand together in solemn prayer for the victims of the abhorrent terror attacks perpetrated in Mumbai.We would like to share with you a prayer circulated by Yeshiva University's Center for the Jewish Future that Dr. Moshe Sokolow, Professor and Associate Dean of the Azrieli Graduate School of Jewish Education and Administration, wrote on behalf of those injured in this tragic event. May we live to see the day when all people can live in safety and security.
Sincerely,Rabbi Michael Miller



http://www.bangitout.com/articles/viewarticle.php?a=2447

do jewish boys have beitzim?

If so? Where are they?

This Jewish guy I met this Shabbos is your typical ModOrth UWS single professional type who is desperate to get married. He didn't say he was desperate - but cmon, he lives on the UWS, and he says he doesn't sleep around. (but then, who knows!)

One of his good friends is this girl who would be PERFECT for him. They have awesome chemistry, are perfectly compatible height, look and religious-wise. And they're both single! So what's going on here? Why doesn't he make a move. It's not like they're SUCH good friends that they risk losing something if it doesn't work out. I know that if the guy made a move, the girl would probably be interested. But girls don't like to make the first move. Nor should they have to.

Jewish boys need Beitzim.