in the driver's seat

My friend Faigie recently told me about a third date she went on where she had to drive. Because the guy did not own a car (and lived Out of Town), on their first date, he rented a car, on their second date, they each took town cars, and on the third date she just gave up and decided to take her own car.
Turned out that he expected her to chauffeur him around (from his friend's house, to his bubbie's place, to another friend's sheva brachos) - but he did pay for gas.
My friend, being the laid back, sweet-natured girl who didn't mind spending time with a guy she thought was a riot and kinda cute, apparently didn't mind being his taxi driver during their 'date' (can you really call it that?).
She did mind though that he would suddenly go psycho on her and start laughing hysterically for no reason, and then the next second get into an intense conversation about life and how she felt spiritually about certain issues (when I seriously suggested that maybe he was on drugs - or needed some -she just laughed. But then, she also just learned that 'crack' is not a type of alcohol - she's a very good BY girl).
So, aside from the fact that this date seems to be a very very special case (I hope, for the sake of all single girls out there), is it ok for a girl to drive... on a date that is?
Should we embrace women's lib and get behind the wheel?
Or is it ok to want to play up our feminine rights to be driven and dined by our date?

gender math

I'm not usually one to forward 'forwards', but this one from Duvy made me smile the other day. Enjoy!

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do,
but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

happy Adar! אֲדָר!!!

! משנכנס אדר מרבין בשמחה
May Adar be a month filled with happiness,
health, wealth, simcha and nachas

for you and your loved ones!

earners over learners

Apparently many Flatbush girls have started to 'wake up' and realize that learner husbands don't fit with a Midwood lifestyle - and that their degrees in pysch or speech or special ed may have to be put to use and not just be paper on a creme wall in a housewife existence.
I don't really mind that all these girls are suddenly looking for earners, but considering how small the selection already is for an MO girl leaning towards the right frum-wise (or trying to), I can't help but wish the recession hadn't put such a dent on people's manicure budgets.

hating the half jew

Like my fave commentator Tommy, I too was pretty shocked to read some of the reactions to my use of the designation 'Half Jew' in my last post.

Obviously, like every Ortho Jew, the fact that there is no such thing as a Half Jew has been drilled into my head to the point where I sometimes have to restrain myself from stating that fact to someone who declares themselves Half Jewish in my presence.

I think everyone has the right to assume whatever label they so choose - whether it be vegetarian, or punk, or even Half Jewish - whether or not the greater society would apply that same label. I can tell you my hair is pink. Obviously it isn't (that would be bad for shidduchim). You know that. But I still have the right to say my hair is pink.

I know it gets more complicated when it comes to yiddishkeit. I've known guys who got involved with girls claiming to be Jewish, when in fact only the father was Jewish - to say that it doesn't usually end well might be an understatement.

But to deny that a Half Jew doesn't exist, as a cultural label, if not a religious one (at least according to Ortho and perhaps Conserv traditions), is to discredit the heritage and identity of the person in question.

A Half Jew, one who has only one parent who is Jewish, most often a father, has a unique identity. Perhaps they identify with certain Jewish cultural customs - you have to admit that Friday night dinner for most Jews today is more about a family gathering than a G-d-mandated holiday.

And so, while they may not qualify to be a tenth member of a minyan, a Half Jew may be much more aware of what being Jewish means than most of us who conveniently were born into the faith. While knowledge is not enough for inclusion in our tribe, an overwhelming amount of children born to Jews today are not Jewish according to Halacha.

Though I am in no way in favor of the New Jew Reform/Reconstructionist/whatever approach whereby almost anyone can be Jewish 'in spirit', I do think that there is nothing wrong with recognizing someone's Half Jewish identity in terms of culture, genealogy and history.

the problem with marriage

I went to a lecture on Jewish Get Law the other day. One of the guest speakers, a well known half-Jewish lawyer had an interesting and rather creative idea for solving the whole Get issue.
According to her, problems could totally be resolved if people just never married in the first place.

Yup, that was her great solution. While a Get is a contract that requires the consent of two people, a Ketubah is a unilateral contract where only one person, the husband, makes a promise to his wife.

If you take out the Ketubah from the equation, and only marry civilly, you only have to get divorced civilly.

And - again, this is what this lawyer was saying - Ketubahs are not really necessary. There is no mitzvah to get married (but apparently there is one to get divorced!), and a child is not a mamzer if he or she is born to unwed parents (mamzers only happen when there is adultery).

So maybe this whole 'get rid of marriage' thing isn't such a bad idea.... After all - no one in the Torah signed a Ketubah (if they had, wouldn't Yacov have known that he was getting the wrong sister) and it's not like anyone actually follows the terms and promises of a Ketubah these days...

So is the Ketubah out of date? Women don't exactly have to worry about being stranded in the desert by a mean hubbie anymore....

f my life

While I normally try to promote positivity and good energy, this link, sent to me by my good friend D, is definitely worth a read, just for the laugh.

The site is called F My Life - Your Everyday Life Stories. And though the stories are sometimes pretty bleak and very embarassing, it's kind of nice to know that your day went so much more smoothly.

shop here

As most frum girls know, finding clothes that are tznius is not that easy. Finding clothes that are tznius and are also in my size, in the right color, in my price range is next to impossible.
Ok, im exaggerating. I obviously have a nice wardrobe, but shopping is not as pleasant as it used to be in my pre-skirt days.
Back then, almost any cute top would make it to my closet - everything looks good with a nice pair of jeans. Shopaholic was my story. (I remember reading the book, and feeling like someone out there finally gets me)
But now, it's like CAN SOMEONE PLEASE FIND ME A PERSONAL SHOPPER!
Seriously. I go into a mall, all hopeful that I'll find the perfect dress to wear to my cousin's l'chaim. And then 2 hours later, I'm begging my friend to go for pizza.
Maybe I just haven't learned how to be creatively tznius (you know, like those girls who pull off wearing t-shirts with their linda leals).
I continue to watch What Not To Wear in the hopes that one day, Stacy and Clint will give 5 Grand to a fellow frummy. Maybe there's an episode I missed?
Anyhoo - I randomly found an ad today on OnlySimchas (where else do you get dress ideas?) for Tabeez. They've got 'trend-setting modest apparel'. And it's not the kind of woman's wear you find in Boro Park. Instead, you can find clothes that have real designer labels, are pretty affordable, look gorgeous and still cover your parts. Happy Shopping!

worth a listen - here's another.

worth a listen - amy's jewish mother

I first heard Amy's Answering Machine a few years ago, and got excited to find it online recently!
Amy Borkowsky is this Jewish comedian who kept every funny phone message left by her very Jewish mother!
Enjoy!

sheitels sheitels sheitels

My mom bought a sheitel today!
(why did i just end that sentence with an exclamation point?)
I should first tell you an MM secret - my mom doesn't cover her hair.
I know - big shocker! She's practically a ho by Boro Park Standards.
But in our 'out-of-town' MO community, it's really not a big deal - most women dont!
(but have you noticed that this trend is slowly reversing as more MOs get more right wing?)
When my parents first got married, 25 years ago, (wow, lots of MM secrets coming out) my mom did cover her hair with cute berets (they were in style!) and hats. My dad even bought her some real hair wigs to wear on special occasions.
But then, a few years into marriage, when our family moved to our current address in our more MO neighbourhood, my mom removed the snood in a move for hair liberation.
She said she just never got used to having something on her head 24/7, missed the feeling of wind in her hair, and besides - my mom has a gorgeous mane and she wanted to flaunt it, not hide it.
But my parents will often go to ultra frummy functions, where my mom's stylin hats (seriously, her shul hats are amazing - she's known for them) just won't cut it. And she says she often feels out of place being so uncovered.
So today, my mom bought a sheitel.
She thought she would spend max $300. (need i remind you that the last sheitel she bought was in 1980-something)
She ended up spending much much much more on a sheitel that looks almost exactly like her own hair.
I always thought the upside of wearing a wig was that you could play around with your color and cut every day - but considering that each Shevy is more expensive than a down payment on a real Chevy, I guess I'll have to focus on the mitzvah aspect of hair covering when the time comes for me to cover mine (im yirtzeh Hashem, very soon) (lol).

the jewish Ginnifer Goodwin

How did I not suspect this before?
She did just play an overeager, nebby, desperate single girl in her latest movie, which I barely mentioned, He's Just Not That Into You (with fellow yids, Scarlett Johanssen, Jennifer Connelly, Drew Barrymore - yup all their moms are part of the tribe).
And she's the bubbly third wife on my fave show right now, Big Love (watch it on surfthechannel or Sunday nights on HBO).
She's pretty cute, charming, and adorable in all her roles (except for those scenes where I wanted to slap her in that movie), and recently broke up with Katie Holmes' ex, Chris Klein (a confusing name to have when someone wants to play Jewish Geography).
According to Wikipedia and this website, Ginnifer went to Jewish summer camp, was affiliated with the North American Federation of Temple Youth and was active in BBYO at the JCC (that’s the B’nai B’rith Youth Organization at the Jewish Community Center) in her hometown of Memphis, Tennessee.
Now that you know she's one of us, go see her movies!

camel toe - the 2009 edition

Looks like Sarah Jessica Parker is still ahead of the fashion curve with this one... Think you'll be seeing (or wearing) this trend any time soon?

worth a watch - Food Court Musical

this one is for Zohara!

worth a watch - i love Rob

is this guy Single?
I totally want in on this!

the best date ever

I remember one of the best first dates I ever went on.
The guy took me to this really pretty and yummy restaurant, then to a gorgeous spot with a view, and then for drinks and this very romantic lounge. It was all so magical.
But it was with the wrong guy.
He just was soo not for me.
I remember how the thought of us being intimate made me want to puke as he drove me home that night.
Seriously.
But because it had been such a great night, I thought I should give him a chance and went on date #2.
Nope, still wanted to barf after that.
Has that ever happened to you before? You give someone a second chance even though your gut instinct is telling you not to? You have a great date with a not so great date?

this is why you're fat

You must check out this site.
It's deeply disturbing and yet oddly fascinating.
I recommend you don't eat beforehand.
Although if you're starving, you might find it all appealing....

happy Tu B'Shvat!

Happy Happy Tu B'Shvat everyone!

Just because we're out of school, and haven't learned a thing about this awesome Yom Tov since, here are some interesting facts (that you may or may not remember) about Tu B'Shvat:

• Some Jews pickle or candy the Etrog from Sukkos and then eat it on Tu B'Shvat, and then pray to be worthy to purchase a beautiful Etrog for the next Sukkos.
• Until recent decades, it was most often called Khamisha Asar BeShvat (חמשה-עשר בשבט), the fifteenth, of Shvat.
• The discussion of when the new year for trees occurs is debated in the Mishnah (Rosh Hashanah) where it says: "And there are four new year dates: - The first of Nissan - new year for kings and festivals - The first of Elul - new year for animal tithes. Rabbi Elazar and Rabbi Shimon say: the first of Tishrei. - The first of Tishrei- new year for calculation of the calendar, sabbatical years and jubilees, for planting and sowing - The first of Shvat - new year for trees, according to the school of Shamai; The school of Hillel say: the fifteenth of Shvat". The rabbis of the Talmud ruled in favor of Hillel on this issue. Thus the 15th of Shvat became the date for calculating when the agricultural cycle began or ended for the purpose of biblical tithes involving trees and fruit.
• In shul, Tachanun is omitted on Tu Bishvat, but there are no other special tefillot or brachas said.
• In the Middle Ages, Tu Bishvat was celebrated with a feast of fruits in keeping with the Mishnaic description of the holiday as a "New Year." In the 1600s, the kabbalist Rabbi Yitchak Luria of Tzfat instituted a Tu Bishvat seder in which the fruits and trees of Israel were given symbolic meaning. The main idea was that eating ten specific fruits and drinking four cups of wine in a specific order while reciting the appropriate blessings would bring human beings, and the world, closer to spiritual perfection.

For more info, click here: http://www.aish.com/tubshvat/tubshvatdefault/default.asp

lazy sunday

Remember that clip by the funny, Jewish and cute Andy Samberg of SNL?

I always feel like Sunday is the least productive day of my week. Maybe it's because I go to bed at 4 am the night before. And then sleep in till after noon. And then stay in my pjs for as long as possible. And keep my hair in a messy bun and don't bother putting any makeup on. And read every inch of the paper (except for the local news, but including the comics and horoscope).

And then when I go out Sunday night, it takes hours (beyond my usual 2) to get ready.

Oh sh$t. My friend Shaindy just called. She's picking me up in 5! Gotta get dressed!

Baruch Da'ayan Ha'Emet Elchonon Tzvi Kramer Z”L

One reason I don't read or watch local news is because I hate hearing tragic stories like this.
A 21 year-old passed away this Motzei Shabbos while he was on the treadmill in his Flatbush home.
Click here for more info.

worth a watch - He's Just Not That Into You

YAY!!! IT FINALLY CAME OUT TODAY! SEE YA AT THE MOVIES ON MOTZEI SHABBOS!

i need a manicure

One of the things I heart about Brooklyn is the $5 manicure on every corner.
Where I live in Out-of-Town, a salon mani sets me back at least $20 plus tax and tip and even the Asians (I'm not being racist - they're always Asians) charge $15 or $9 for a polish change.
That can really add up if you're someone like me, who still hasn't figured out how to use scissors with her left hand.
I don't get manis as often as some of my friends (Shaindy, Andrea, you know I'm talkin about you - seriously, the Asians barely know two words in English, but they know these girls' names and fave Essie colors). And I only get manis if my nails are looking semi-nice to begin with - you know, they have to be a certain length before I make an appointment. And then I wait until all of the polish from my last appointment has grown out or been scratched off so that I get to feel like I'm really getting my money's worth (I know, how Jewish).
I always get a little spooked by the idols in the store - am I contributing to Avoda Zarah while I get pretty? Or am I supposed to be respectful of their culture? Or is it bad that I laugh to myself when they 'feed' their idols stale kosher wafers?
Wow, I just jumped from manicures to idol worship. I guess that's how I put the maidel in the material.

dating a napoleon complex

My brother calls it the 'Chihuahua complex' - guys who are short but make lots of noise. And considering that our race is somewhat vertically challenged, short Jewish guys who feel the need to compensate are pretty widespread.
Short guys don't have it easy in this world - especially in the dating world, where unless they want to pull a Tom Cruise (and hypnotize some tall Katie girl into scientology submission), their choice of potential mate is pretty limited.
Most girls want someone they could look up to - physically that is. Maybe it's a shoe thing. Girls like to look pretty in heels, and there is nothing a girl dreads more than having to wear flats under the chuppah.
Maybe it's for the chosson's benefit that you don't see a couple's first dance at frum weddings... (nothing is more awkward that seeing a couple dance together when they are incompatible height wise).
I'm totally generalizing here, but I have found that short guys tend to actually be better looking and in better shape than tall guys. The buffest guys at the gym are often the shorties - maybe your mom was right when she said that guys who work out when they're not fully developed don't grow - or maybe short guys are the ones who feel the need to work with what they've got.
And really tall guys often have a 'ya I'm hot and I know it' c&cky attitude (which by the way, is a total turnoff, unless you're into girls who are into bad boys). But on the other hand, short guys can have that 'I'm small but mean' streak that you just don't want to see.
And let's face it - short guys = short kids.
But then, you're a Jewish girl - you're probably short too!

worth a read - thanks D-bear

The university professor challenged his students with this question.
Did God create everything that exists?

A student bravely replied "yes, he did!"
"God created everything? The professor asked. "Yes sir", the student replied.

The professor answered, "If God created everything, then God created
evil since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works
define who we are then God is evil".

The student became quiet before such an answer.

The professor was quite pleased with himself and boasted to the
students that he had proven once more that Christian,Judaism & Muslim
faiths are a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said, "Can I ask you a question professor?"
"Of course", replied the professor.

The student stood up and asked, "Professor, does cold exist?"
"What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?"
The students snickered at the young man`s question.

The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to
the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence
of heat. Everybody or object is susceptible to study when it has or
transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or
transmit energy. Absolute zero (- 460 degrees F) is the total absence
of heat; all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that
temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to
describe how we feel if we have no heat."

The student continued. "Professor, does darkness exist?"
The professor responded, "Of course it does".

The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not
exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we
can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newtons prism to break
white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each
color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break
into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark
a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isnt this
correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when
there is no light present."

Finally the young man asked the professor. "Sir, does evil exist?"

Now uncertain, the professor responded.
"Of course as I have already said. We see it every day. It is in the
daily example of man`s inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of
crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are
nothing else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least it
does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is
just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe
the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is not like faith,
or love that exist just as does light and heat. Evil is the result of
what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart.
It is like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness
that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.................

is there such thing as a shomer poke?

I remember this guy telling me once that a facebook poke is the online version of a booty call.
For real.
No joke.
I really hope this person was either delusional or just trying to get a frum girl to blush. (I was definitely an MM shade of pink)
I'm not much of a poker myself. I only poke when I've been poked first.
The fact that most, well all, pokes I get from are guys has escaped me - until now.
So if that guy was right - is there such thing as a shomer poke?

should OTD's get over themselves? - part 2

The second I wrote this post, I knew I'd created something quasi-controversial. I'm not usually b$tchy on MM (at least I don't think I am), but reading all the anti-relig stuff on the web (not one specific blog) got me in a bad mood. And so there you had it. It needed to be said. I needed to write it.

So far I've read reaction posts written by Off the Derech (Obviously. I should mention that I actually did NOT have him in mind when I wrote that post) and by Freethinking Upstart (which brings a refreshingly level-headed point of view to this whole discussion).

Like I've mentioned before, I do sympathize with someone who has chosen to be OTD. I've written a post to this effect not too long ago where I tried to create awareness about Footstepsorg.org and where I explicitly stated that "I think it shows poorly on the Orthodox community for its failure to properly integrate these people within the community, and also within society in general."

However, as an Orthodox Jew, I do think that the Torah is perfect, and that Torah values are perfect. And I do think that it is sad to see someone who no longer upholds these values - for whatever reason.

I think about this person's great-great-great-grandparents, who battled prejudice and struggled for their very survival, for the survival of these values, only to have this person put an end to it all.

I think OTDs often confuse their community's values, and their hate for these values, with those of Judaism. Because every community has it's failures. (and considering that the majority of Orthodox Jews are still observant must be a tribute to some success). And I believe that one can still find a place within Judaism without necessarily belonging to a specific group.

I have friends of all levels of observance, including some that are completely unaffiliated. And while I may not choose a similar lifestyle for myself, I respect their choice to live their lives as they know it.

What I do not respect are those who devote their time and energy to what could essentialy be considered hate speech.

worth a watch - 土風舞 - 手足歡聚

I guess we eat Chinese Food, they dance to Miami Boys Choir.
Maybe I should take tips from these girls for my next wedding....

(sheitel tip to Miri!)

does size really matter?

I'm talking about diamonds - obviously!
Another friend got engaged this week! (Mazel tov Sara!) And she has a stunnning ring! (we both know who picked it out!)
Boys, if you're gonna insist on picking the ring out yourself (which I must say, is kinda like the cherry on the cookie dough ice cream cake if you've already got it when you're about to propose), here are some tips:
- do not ask your mother for advice. Unless your mother has extraordinary taste, what girl wants to be reminded of her shvigger every time she looks down at her hand? (I just learned yesterday that people actually still use that word - I always thought it was kind of derogatory, but I guess that just means lots of women love their m-in-laws!)
- do ask your future intended's best friend for advice. Because, I'm about to let you in on a pretty badly kept secret about women. We know exactly what we want in a diamond. Well maybe, not exactly, but we've all picked out potential dream rings on adiamondisforever.com and e-mailed it to our besties for future keeping for a moment like this.
- size does matter - but not in the way you think. I may have already mentioned that I'm waiting for my cushion cut 5 carat (ok, JacobDaJew, if even Jessica Simpson only got a 4 carat, then you know I'm being sarcastic), but most girls couldn't care less about the 4 C's (which you should know stands for carat, clarity, color, and cut -just in case you don't want to look stupid in front of the jeweler). Most girls just want something big and sparkly (use the 'jealous neighbor test' - if you can see it from across the street, you know you've got a keeper).

I've actually surveyed my friends when it comes to this (you can't deny science), and I've found that it's pretty much across the board that girls would rather something big and flawed (even a cubic zirconia) than a diamond that is perfect but microscopic (yup, girls are superficial about rings- big surprise). One friend did say that she didn't really care about the ring - as long as she got a big house.

Alright, obviously the ring is not the most important thing when a couple is about to embark on their new life together. Lubavs don't even get rings before the chuppah! (in which case, same tips apply for the engagement necklace!) But remember boys, a diamond is forever, so it's gotta look good for at least the 50 odd years that you're going to be spending with your future bride.

Arranged Marriage now an American Reality?

Maybe you've already heard the news?
According to The Hollywood Reporter, CBS has picked up a new reality show, titled 'Arranged Marriage'. The show introduces four adults age approximately 25-45 who are anxious to get married but have been unsuccessful in their search for a mate. Their friends and family select a spouse for them, and the newly paired couple exchange marital vows. The series follows their marriages.

Wonder if any Jewish singles are part of the mix....

Would you do it?

football?

apparently there was like this huge football game on tonight.

did you hear anything about that?

i sure didn't.

i was too busy having pizza with my besties!

cheater cheater cheater

Child Ish Behavior of Not Just Typical just sent me this link to an article about Cheating on the Web.
I gotta say, it's pretty disturbing. I've heard about sites such as AshleyMadison.com, which is like the married man's version of Frumster (well whatever the non-Jewish equivalent is! why would i know about those sites?).
Ok, I have a confession to make....

I was once on AshleyMadison.

You're probably thinking "I know Maidel is Materialistic, but I never thought she was a gold digger".
Well, while I probably would not date you if you were homeless (or jobless, or unable to provide me with a cushion cut 5 carat), I don't think I'm exactly the definition of a gold digger.
My reason for being on AshleyMadison was a lot different than most girls' - I was on there to save men.
I know - how altruistic, right!
I learned about the site a few years back from one of those 60 Minutes exposés about men who use the internet to cheat.
And like most normal people, I was shocked and appalled and felt so sorry for the wives of these men. And just a little bit curious. (my journalism training always gets the best of me)
So I registered on the site - easier than getting a Gmail account in those days - and started chatting with one of the guys on the site. (interesting that only men had to pay to become members!)
At first, I started asking this guy (who by the way, even in his 50s was a pretty good looking man) all these basic chat questions. You know, where he lived, what he did for a living. I don't think he was interested in a basic chat, if ya know what I mean!
But I had to stick to my guns - and the real reason why I was on the site.
So then I started asking about his wife. He claimed that while he was still in love with her, she just didn't excite him anymore. They were never intimate. They were strangers living in the same house.
I tried to give him ideas about how he could try to renew the spark in their marriage, to let her know he cared (maybe that psych class I took got me motivated to play therapist).
I don't think he was so appreciative that he had paid the $15.99 per month (or whatever) to have someone tell him to get off the site.
But I tried!
And who knows...
maybe it worked!
I didn't stay on the site long enough to find out...
After that chat I kinda realized I was in dangerous territory....
You never know what kind of weirdos go online!

should OTD's get over themselves?

seriously.
It's kind of like those atheists who don't believe in G-d but are constantly talking about G-d.
If you don't want to be religious - then don't be!
I get that you've got gripes with the society you were raised in,
With your Rebbes and Morahs who tried to brainwash you,
With your parents who were too strict in trying to enforce religious rules on you.
But get over yourselves!
Move on!
Life is too short (especially if you don't believe in an afterlife)
To get angry
And blame other people
For all of your woes.
If you want to feel like you're liable to no one,
Then no one is responsible for you
And what you've become.
If you feel stifled
Or repressed
Or depressed
Being religious
Then no one is stopping you!
Move outside of your bubble,
Get a job in the real world
And stop complaining!

(fyi - OTD = off the Derech)
(fyi - FYI = for your information)