divorce of course

Someone recently told me that that people in the Tri-State are starting to make their Bar Mitzvahs fancier than their weddings... because you know, a Bar Mitzvah only happens once per lifetime.

What's up with that?

Divorce is not new. It's certainly not new to Jews. It's actually talked about in the Torah. (see Dvarim, perek 24)

But for some reason, it was always suggested that Jewish marriages were better than that. Marriage was forever. It was with someone who was compatible on many different levels. It was serious, as serious as Yom Kippur. Marriage was about being complete with another person, about creating a family, about living and passing on Jewish values.

They used to say, maybe they still say, that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Slowly it seems that Jewish marriages are starting to catch up to the national average.

Ok, I'm exaggerating. It's my blog. But still.

I have a good friend from Brooklyn who is 23 years old. She went to a good all-girls school. A little more modern than Bais Yacov, but almost there. Out of 25 girls in her class, 20 have been married. 4 are divorced. I suck at math, but I think that's like 5%. I'm just amazed that these girls are only 23 and have already been married and divorced. (I'm actually more amazed at those girls who at similar ages have been married, divorced and remarried. I can't even do it once)

So what's the story? Why are more people getting divorced these days?

Is it because divorce is more acceptable? (which is totally cool in my books - why should someone be stigmatized because they married a capital L - Loser? and by Loser I also mean Abuser)

Is it because divorce is an easy option? An easy way out of an argument? I wish I had more insight into this, but as you know, I have yet to tie the knot with FrumPunk....

Rabbi Wallerstein blames the internet. And Facebook. In a recent shiur he said that husbands are spending more time online than with their wives. Is this true? Is Facebook really to blame? My dad is convinced that the Facebook generation is going to $hit. That we waste time checking out our friends' new Europe pictures when we could be out working and doing something a little more useful. Like making money. (if only I could find a job that paid me to write about myself...)

Oh, I just have to add this next bit before I forget. It may be total lashon harah, but I'm not mentioning names....

Apparently there's a new trend among singles... well divorced singles that is. Young divorced singles who may or may not have kids. Apparently there are some not-so-Shomer parties and not-so-Shomer vacations happening where these Divorcees leave their kids with their exes for the weekend and have fun with other Divorcees. Did I mention that all of these people are supposedly frum? Fakewood is right.

music makes the people come together

THE MM PLAYLIST IS BAAAAACK!

ENJOY ;)

Have a meaningful fast.

May our next Tisha B'Av be a happy one.

positively dating

Like the title? It's my new slogan. Two weeks ago I made a pledge to try my damnedest to date positively, to positively date and to stop being a negative dater.

And so I stopped complaining, stopped kvetching, stopped over-analyzing anything dating. Maybe that's why I haven't been writing as much lately...

They say that if you give out positive energy, then you will get positive results. And I've gotta say that ever since I made that promise (bli neder of course...) I've been seeing mucho results. Wish I could tell you about that. Maybe another time...

sexy swimwear

Now THIS is what I call a sexy swimsuit...

Enjoy ;)

worth a watch - best wedding ever

worth a read

A good friend of mine just started a blog, Surfin the Shidduch Scene!

Click here to read her latest funny post on (what else) The Dating Game!

kippahs in the club

Miri and I went out the other night with a couple of bochurs we recently met.
We went to a lovely rooftop terrace lounge with a great city view. (despite the name of this post, I have not in fact been to a bonafide club in ..... a while. Although I love to dance, I don't love being danced with by random men - issues of tznius and shomer negiah notwithstanding)

So our new friends were the blue shirt, black velvet kippah type that we all know and love (or at least I do)

That is until we got out of the car on our way to the place.

Off came the black velvet kippahs.

It definitely wasn't the first time I've been out with guys who hide their yarmulkes. But a part of me just still doesn't get it.

They said that they didn't want to do anything that could be a Chillul Hashem. Which I guess makes sense.

Although - if you are the type to wear a kippah, shouldn't you also be the type not to do anything Chillul Hashem-worthy? Or is that asking too much from a bunch of single guys?

But why not just own up to your Jewish pride? (it's not like everyone we met didn't know we were Jewish)

Maybe it's easier for me to say this. As a girl, aside from my non-skanky dress, there really aren't any obvious signs of my Jewishness.

But if there were, would I hide them?

looking for something not so serious?

I met this girl a little while ago (not how I usually begin these kind of posts, I know) who's a friend of a friend. She's married but normal (ok, not fair of me to say it like that.) She's married but still goes out with her friends.... (is that better?) So while we are not besties yet, we have hung out a couple of times with our mutual bud and other people.

So anyhow, the other day, this girl mentioned how she knows a ton of single guys and wants to set me up.

She asked what I'm looking for.

I asked her what she thought I was looking for.

At this point, I thought maybe she had a feel for who I was, and who doesn't wonder what impression you give off to other people?

But then she said "Well, you're not looking for anything serious are you?"

I have to say, I was kind of offended.

What does that mean? Do I somehow give off a 'ho vibe'?

Or do I just not reek of the ugly desperation that so many single girls over 20 seem to give off in these parts?

this show makes me cry

MTV's 16 and Pregnant - MTV Shows

Click here if the above doesn't work: http://www.mtv.com/videos/16-and-pregnant-ep6-catelynn/1615511/playlist.jhtml

where to date

Someone called Daas Torah (I wonder if that's his real name) let me know about this cute new website (new to me at the very least) that gives you ideas for date locations. Check it out: www.shiduchdate.com. Sadly, most listings are for places across the pond - so I'd like to take this opportunity to encourage my fellow Americans (and neighbors in Canadia) to get on Shidduchdate.com and add some hot spots!

I gotta say, sometimes when it comes to dates, it really is Location, Location, Location.

A venue can often make or break your experience. (there are other things that can too, such as too much Axe - or too little)

One guy I dated wanted to go to Shnitzy's on a second date. I was wearing heels. Did he not notice?

I have two very good friends who were both taken to Dunkin Donuts on a first. I'm pretty sure they didn't date the same guy - so whatever douche is telling their friends that this is a good idea better stop. (MM is coming after you)

I'm not saying casual isn't good. I know some of you men are on a budget. It's not your fault. It's the sh*tty economy. (at least I hope that's why you don't have a job...) But if all you want to buy a girl is a cup of coffee, there are some waaay cuter places to go.

Try a lounge, someplace with a terrace or somewhere with a view. A pretty nighttime lookout is actually a great spot for a guy with limited funds. And girls love pretty views. (at least this girl does) . Just don't pull a Danny Zuko like this guy.

It must be annoying for guys to have to come up with places to date. I appreciate when guys ask for input - but probably like most girls, I like when guys man up and plan in advance.

I've always wondered if guys recycle these spots.... I found out that one guy I dated got engaged (to someone else, Baruch Hashem Yisbarach) at the exact location we went to on our first date - how romantic.

mm chats with a black man

This is a snippet of an actual conversation I had with a Brother in the city last week. (and by 'Brother', I don't mean a family member) He was in a security uniform, I was walking with a friend, and I just couldn't resist making conversation. This conversation would have never happened with a Jewish guy.

MM: Hey, what's going on? Why's there security here?
Brother: They're filming a movie here. You girls from out of town?
MM: No, we live here. Are you from out of town?
B: Nah, I'm from Brooklyn.
MM: No way... Where in Brooklyn are you from?
B: Crown Heights. You know it?
MM: Serious? I got friends there!
B: Ya right - you have friends who are black?
MM: Ya, why not? Don't you have white friends?
B: You wanna be my friend?
MM: Haha - my friends in Crown Heights are Jewish.
B: You're Jewish?
MM: Ya, you can't tell? You think all white people look the same?
B: I know that there are Italians and Greeks and Irish and Jewish people, but I can't tell the difference. But in Crown Heights the Jews have those curly hair things.
MM: Not the Jews in Crown Heights. Those Jews just have beards.
B: Yes they do. Come over and I'll show you that they do.
MM: Hey, I like your grill.
B: Thanks - I got diamond cut.
MM: My friend's grandmother has a grill.
B: Oh ya?
MM: She's Russian.
B: Hahahaha. You're hot.
MM: No, you're hot.
B: Haha, no, for real, you're fine.
MM: No, you're fine.

bruno is out today!

It's finally here!!!!
I haven't decided whether to go and see it....
Or wait three weeks....

another reason to quit

I met this cute guy at a friend's shul a little while ago. We instantly clicked, had a lovely convo, and spent almost the entire afternoon chatting away.
He's a writer and got really excited when I told him that I like to write too. And of course, when he asked me what I'd written lately, all I could do was go "ummmmmmmmmmmmm", tell him I'd been busy writing a huge research paper and then turn the conversation to reading rather than writing and to my love of chicklit.
Because it was Shabbos, we couldn't exchange numbers. We never facebooked because I'm horrible with names and I don't think we have any friends in common, and because I'm 'unfindable'. (can you tell that I like my privacy?)
A month or two passed by. I totally forgot about The Writer. (I guess I'm not that romantic, or maybe I've just encountered one too many cute boys since)
Then the other week, I happened to be back at that same shul again. After davening, I got a tap on my shoulder. It was none other than The Writer.
And of course, one of the first things he asks: "So, have you been writing lately?"

get your tan on

I love discovering new products that work, and I especially love telling all my friends about it. (what else do girls talk about?)

Now that summer has FINALLY arrived (I almost thought I'd never get to wear my cute new Nine West sandals), I've been on the prowl for a sunless tanner that actually works. (I could do it the old-fashioned way and sit my tush in the sun, but then I'd risk wrinkles at 30.) I really have yet to find the perfect solution to my pale problem. Most sunless tanners streak, and even professional spray tans have made me blotchy. I haven't tried tanning beds yet, but don't think I will - the whole idea sounds so claustrophobic.

So just last week I bought a bottle of Neutrogena® Color Boosting Sunblock SPF 30. It's a sunless tanner and sunscreen in one bottle! GENIUS!

It's also oil-free, PABA-free, and non-comedogenic, so it won't clog your pores and you can easily use this stuff on your face.

I'm only on Day 5 of using the sunblock, but so far so good. The consistency is a lot thicker than most sunless tanners, but doesn't have that awful sunscreen smell. It's also pretty moisturizing considering it's oil-free (my legs were nice and silky all day long).

So far, no streakage at all. The tan is pretty gradual, which is fine with me. I'll let you know how it goes as I continue using the product.

Click here to find out where to buy yourself a bottle.