the pre-date date

In two separate conversations that I had over the course of this past Shabbos, I learned about the latest fad in Brooklyn dating - the Pre-Date Date.

Convo #1 was with a good friend who also happens to be a Guy (i have some of those) and pretty Yeshivish (i have some of those too). He was telling me about some girl who was recently redd to him who asked that they meet for a casual thirty-minute session before they set up their date. He thought this was crazy - doesn't the pre-date qualify as a date?  I didn't have a chance to talk to him at length about this - we were at a separate-seating bar mitzvah and to do so would have made me either look desperate or like a whore (which on a psychological level may be one and the same).

Convo #2 was at the same event, albeit with a Boro Park Mamma (when she heard I was single she stuck to me like glue) who told me how she tells all her kids to meet before they date. Kind of like a b'show, only not just for Chassidish people. Her take on this was that spending the mandatory 4 hours on a date (i never knew frum dates had specific schedules, but i should thank her for clearing it up for me) is a waste of time when often the couple knows within 20 minutes whether or not they are compatible (sometimes it feels like all I need is 10). So in a way, the pre-date date is a time-saver. It's also a money-saver considering how much some boys dish out on dates (but I'm not gonna complain about that).

What do you think? Should the pre-date date become the hot new trend in the shidduch world? I'm on the fence about this one - I kinda like the quick-and-easy approach... but, time-wise, it'll still take me 2 hours to get ready.

gmar chatima tovah

I want to wish you all a Gmar Chatima Tovah.
May you be sealed in the Book of Life.

If I have ever offended or hurt in you in any way, please forgive me.

kosher kaparos

Miri sent me this link to a CrownHeights.info article about PETA's latest campaign for an animal-free Kaparos.
I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing...
I definitely love my shwarma and steak, I often have trouble finding shoes to wear on Yom Kippur (the only ones that seem to be made out of synthetic material are my flip-flops) and I don't think I could survive winter without heated leather seats.
So I'm not exactly an animal lover... in fact, I HATE the zoo.
The only animal I actually do love is my malti-poo Daisy. (I've mentioned her before... as well as Jessica Simpson's pooch who, may she rest in peace, got eaten by a coyote. The dog - not Jessica.)
BUT...
It does make me sad when animals aren't treated nicely.
Which is why I don't eat veal - those baby cows aren't even given a chance to walk around the block a few times. I also get grossed out when I see whole chickens or a whole fish (with tail and head) on the dinner table. (one reason why I can't marry Sephard - I don't think I could start a new year off right sitting next to the head of a goat)
A few years ago, I happened to come across a PETA video online (before I even knew what PETA was... may I was looking for a recipe) that showed how horribly some animals are treated at the slaughterhouse. It may have been that rubashkin video. It still gives me nightmares.
So back to the Kaparos campaign.
First - DISCLAIMER - I've actually never witnessed the whole chicken kaparos in action. Nope, never. Not sure why. Maybe because my neighborhood isn't that shtark. Maybe because my family does everything last-minute, and I'm pretty sure that chickens and shoichets aren't that easy to come by ten minutes before Yom Kippur starts. And Baruch Hashem, there is always money lying around. Hashem, let's keep that up ;)
I remember using live fish once. That freaked me out. I don't think I would've survived the days when gefilte fish swam in bathtubs.
So because I've never actually been to a chicken kaparos, I can't really say whether not those animals are treated properly, per PETA-standards. I hope they are. It would make me sad if they weren't. And I don't know how kosher that would be.

Have a very sweet New Year :) Happy Rosh Hashanah!

mm's meme superpower

Mike In Midwood tagged me, so here goes...

Rule number 1: Read the rules.
Rule number 2: Write one superpower you would like to have and what you would do with it.
Rule number 3: Write why you chose that super power over everything else.
Rule number 4: Tag and link 7 people, and write why you think they will have an interesting meme.
Rule number 5: fix your broken links.


I have to let you in on a little secret before I tell you what my superpower is.

I used to be obsessed with Heroes.

Yup. I know. Does that surprise you?

Does that make me a closet nerd?

So anyhow - this means that I know A LOT about superpowers.

Anyone who watches the show knows that the best of the 'abilities' is the one where you get to absorb other people's powers. (think Sylar or Peter)

But I'm not that greedy. (although, the ability to make money multiply doesn't sound that bad)

So if I had to stick with one superpower, I'd probably choose the ability to time travel (à la Hiro, but maybe a little bit more refined in that I'd know where I'm going before I get there - definitely not à la Time Traveller's wife where the husband always travels naked). I'd love to travel back to when my parents were kids, visit my great-grandparents who I never got to meet, maybe even go back to the days of Shlomo Hamelech. Maybe I'd even get to change history - or be a part of it. That's the part that actually interests me most.

Ok - so I chose time travelling - a little typical and boring. But still pretty solid.

If I could choose another, this is what I'd want:
I know this isn't really a superpower, but it is magical, so I'll tell you about it anyway.
I would REALLY want a superpowered closet. Like a magical closet with every item of clothing every made or designed in the world, where everything fits gorgeously and is always in style. Kind of like the one Cher had in Clueless, but with more clothing options and less 1990's.


Bloggers tagged:

Surfin the Shidduch Scene - because she's creative and funny, and def a bestie!

Dude with Hat - because with his profile pic, he's already got the whole 'mysterious spy' thing going on - and that intrigues me.

Jessica - because I wonder if new moms wish for more sleep. And people with no sleep write funny stuff.

Lvnsm27 - because she's a Cali girl. Nuff said.

Altie - because she's a Lubie, and I love Lubies. I'm thinking her superpower will either mikarev everyone, bring Moshiach, or let her see through boy's beards.

Jacob da Jew - why not? i think i tag him every time ;)

Musing Maidel - because I dissed her in a post, and now I feel kinda bad.

boys with nice cars

When it comes to cars, I'm like most girls - I have no clue what's under the hood or how to fix a flat tire, but I do like lots of accessories. I remember the day my father surprised me with a new car. He phoned me from the dealership and asked me what kind of car I wanted. I said "Black".

Maybe because I have my own ride, or maybe just because I know nothing about cars, but whether a guy pulls up in a lemon or a Lexus doesn't really make a big diff to me.

I don't know where you live, but in Brooklyn these days, having a nice car is like having a nice house - no indication of what's in your bank account. Everyone knows someone who can get them a good deal. It isn't that hard to lease a luxury ride anymore. Even the boys working at kosher delight drive Escalades. (and let's not forget the boys who RENT to impress - which by the way, is so fakewood)

And then there are the boys who come from money, whose families actually do have gelt (well, as far as anyone knows, because espesh in our post-Madoff world, money isn't what it used to be). So they have fancy cars. That don't impress me much. They're just lucky their fathers were born before them. Because spending money is easy (I know, I'm pretty good at it). Making money is a whole other ballgame - and boys who know how to play that game are the kind that turn me on.

So if a boy turns up in a zeidymobile without a/c, but one that he paid for with his own sweat and tears, that's hot.

Maybe because after hearing this story I'm about to let you in on, I'm just happy the guy has his license.

I'm totally guilty of theft for telling you this, because the story is one for the books, but I'm sure my friend will moichel me come Yom Kippur.

So a little while ago, my lovely friend gets set up on yet another shidduch date. Everything checks out normal about this guy, and - big plus for my Canadian friend - the boy is willing to travel to her town for the date.

Date night comes and she's waiting for the boy to show. He arrives to her house a few minutes late looking a little disheveled, but still somewhat presentable. He explains that he is sorry he's late but didn't realize his hosts lived as far as they did.

"But they only live 4 blocks away", says my friend.
"But I walked", says her date.

My friend thinks this is an interesting start to what would probably be an interesting date, but for the sake of good manners, offers that she had a car that they could use for the night.

So she grabs her keys and the young couple walks out the door.

And then...

When they're near the car, this bochur coughs and puts out his hand, palm up.

"Am I supposed to slap him 'five'?", my friend thinks to herself.
"Huh???", she asks instead.
"Your keys", says her date.
"You want my keys?!", asks my friend.

Rather reluctantly, she obliges. She hands him her keys, and off they go on their lovely little date...

Where he totals her car...

And they end up happily ever after...

With other people... (Im Yirtzeh Hashem!)

tznius bullsh$t

I came across this post over at some new maidel's blog that got my panties in a figurative twist. (oh wait - maybe even a non-literal reference to undergarments is not at all tznius... maybe i'll ask that maidel and get back to you)

She wrote about her sem's 'modesty' course where the girls modeled clothing in class in order to find out whether their outfits met the tznius standards of the morah. Such aidel maidels. What a ruchnius environment. And then she writes about coming back to the shmutzland of the US of A where girls, even BY girls, are wearing - oh the horror of it - kikki rikki shirts under 'shells' (i'm pretty sure that the BY velt is the only one to still call sleeveless tees 'shells').

More thoughts to come.

new year, new thoughts

Rosh Hashanah is in less than a week!

It's always an interesting time of year...

A happy time of year - we eat sweet things, we enjoy the company of our loved ones, we wish one another well...

It's as if we do these things in the hope that the happiness will continue throughout the year.

I always feel somewhat scared too. Intimidated by the immensity of what the holidays are really about. Scared that I don't measure up. That I haven't been good enough. That I haven't reached my full potential. I know I can always do more, do better. And yet, I know I don't. Almost always, I can feel my yetzer harah. Sometimes I know the exact moment where I should be doing something good, and I don't. For no good reason at all. I just don't. Call it laziness. Call it indifference. I know it's my yetzer harah. And choosing to overcome my yetzer harah is sometimes as hard as choosing to go to the gym when my bed's really really comfortable. Because once I become used to sleeping in on a Sunday, waking up early becomes that more difficult.

I went to a shiur tonight that gave me a little bit of inspiration, that I would like to share with you. When you're davening this Rosh Hashanah, when you're asking Hashem for a good, happy, healthy year - also ask that Hashem give you the strength to choose good over bad and to recognize the difference. Because in today's world, we could all use a little bit of exercise.

i know i've been ignoring you...

i've recently become OBSESSED with Mad Men.

You MUST give it a watch if you've never seen it.

Watch it on AMC cable or online at surfthechannel.com

Trying to figure out if I'd rather be a Betty or a Joan...

worth a watch - Tickling Leo

Set around the days of Yom Kippur, Tickling Leo is a contemporary drama that follows three generations of one Jewish family whose secrets threaten to wipe away its future. When he loses touch with his estranged father, Zak Pikler (Daniel Sauli) and his pregnant girlfriend Delphina (Annie Parisse) travel to an abandoned Catskills lake where the eccentric poet Warren Yitzchak Pikler (Lawrence Pressman) is living in solitude and declining health. As Zak copes with his father's dementia, Delphina inadvertently uncovers a secret the Piklers have been hiding since World War II: an impossible sacrifice they made in order to join Rudolph Kasztner’s controversial train out of Hungary.

TICKLING LEO opens in New York on Friday, September 4 and will also be available day and date on DVD and Amazon VOD.